I wanted to use this month’s blog to chat about grief. It is the festive time of year soon and many of us will be spending this season without a loved one who was there last year. Sometimes people find this time very hard emotionally and having not experienced grief before may not know what to expect, feel or do for the best. Well I am here to let you know that it is totally normal and OK to not know how to ‘do’ grief correctly, there is no correct way to grieve or act, especially at those festive times when you may just have a reminder of the past wash over you. What you feel is right, allow the feelings, accept the feelings, work with them not against them and work through them. Allow them, feel them and find a way to step forward from them rather than stay in them. Just remember as long as everyone is safe and your grief is not damaging to you or others how you need to grieve is OK.

So although I can’t tell you how to grieve or what to do to make it easier I can offer a few ideas that might help:

• Some pagan traditions encourage telling stories of the dead to friends and family, often around a festive fire (remember safety) – maybe nice for bonfire night.
• Another pagan idea is to share your drink with loved ones by spilling some out onto the floor in their name (again probably best outside and not red wine on the white carpet)
• Some people like to leave an empty seat/full place setting at the Christmas dinner table
• Some people like to take a Christmas card to the grave or memorial stone of their loved one
• Some like to plant a Christmas tree in their honour or make a charitable donation
• Some like to buy a small low value gift to honour their dead.
• An idea can be to collect stories, photos and memories about the deceased from all the family and create a memory book (or a memory stick in the digital age) to be shared among all contributors/friends/family and used as a talking point.

These are but a few small ideas to hopefully inspire you to realise that you can remember those not with us in a way that is right for you and your family.

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304