What to look for in your counsellor?

Looking for a counsellor can be one of the most confusing times. Often people have never looked for a therapist or counsellor before. See just there, are they called counsellors or therapists? Personally I find the word is used interchangeably. Below are some questions, with my views on some of the answers.

When and Why would you look for a counsellor? Because you need to talk confidentially about something in your life, with someone who won’t be in your life for any other reason, or judge you for your thoughts. Someone who will be professional, helpful, caring, honest, kind about what you are feeling. Someone who will not talk about your issues with others but will care and help and focus on you.

Where would you look? Local paper? Internet search? Leaflets? Doctors? Word of mouth? All of the above? – Well that’s where I’d start anyway. None of them is right or wrong, some people prefer recommendations for friends or doctors/nurses/medical professionals, others prefer to search privately on the internet, or some people see a leaflet or advert and realise they need to talk about something. Online you could look in several places the NHS offers this as their counselling page https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/counselling/ with good links to professional bodies that will help you find a therapist. There is also https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists or https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

What qualifications should they have? Certificate, diploma, undergraduate degree, postgraduate masters, doctorate, accreditation? Counsellors can be qualified at all the above levels. It depends on their academic skills, their practical application and their need for training. Also life experience can be very important, as well as counselling practise hours. Sometimes it is best to talk to your counsellor/therapist to see if they have the right training or experience for what you wish to discuss.

What type of therapy do I need? There are again many types of therapy/counselling. Person centred, integrative, Gestalt, mindfulness, CBT, behavioural, psycho-dynamic, art therapy, play therapy, emotion focused therapy, psycho-analytical, solution focused, the list goes on. Again I suggest you find the therapist who can offer what you feel you need, sometimes unless its a specific therapy for a specific illness most therapies and therapists can work with most issues, they just do it in a different way. The outcomes are most often the same positive result for the client.

Are they registered, do they have a governing body? Do they have to keep up to date with training? In answer to this I will say that people are often registered, but they do not have to be. Ethically a lot of counsellors would like professional registration to be part of our qualification criteria rather than just a recommendation. My governing body BACP has a counselling register that you can check to see if your therapist is qualified etc https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Register?q= other professional bodies include https://www.bps.org.uk/ and https://www.nationalcounsellingsociety.org/ these all have similar requirements in terms of ethical practise, continued training, and registration. One is not necessarily better than another, its often a practitioners preference or therapy modality that guides their choice of governing body.

I hope that this blog has been helpful to you. If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

Self-Harm

 

Here I will discuss the term self-harm in the hope discussion promotes understanding.

Firstly why do people self-harm?

  • struggle to feel an emotional response
  • struggle to express an emotion or experience
  • change emotional pain into a manageable/controllable physical pain
  • control
  • escape
  • attention or physical symbol of emotional internal pain
  • express something they can’t any other way.

There are many types of self-harm, and indulging in some are more socially acceptable than others, and even some indulgence isn’t classes as self-harm, it is when it reaches the addiction and damaging stage that it becomes self-harm. Two things clearly classed as self-harm are cutting and burning (fire or ice), but there are others too that when done for certain reasons or to excess can be classed as self-harm – tattoos, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, extreme sports (those that risk life), eating or not eating, exercise. That is not an all inclusive list and I was shocked too when I realised some of the things on it, when done in excess could be classed as self-harm.

Again this is just brief introduction and guidance, it is not an all encompassing discussion. For further details I’ve added this link: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/#.Wn2mBujFLIU

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

PTSD

 

Next I will try and explore PTSD/Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in terms that will be accessible.

  • happens after a traumatic life event – but not every event or to every person experiencing the same event.
  • relive the expereince
  • flashbacks
  • nightmares
  • intrusive thoughts
  • trigger events/smells/colours/sounds (these are just a few)
  • physical symptoms of sweating, increased heart rate, jumpy,
  • hyper-alert/ hyper-vigilant
  • intense panic
  • fear of emotional connections or relationships.
  • aggressive and destructive behaviours – excessive use of alcohol or drugs
  • avoidance – of memories, people, situations
  • unable to recall details of the event
  • emotional and/or physical numbness
  • blaming or self doubt, lack of trust in self or others.

Again this is not a list that is all encompassing, and not everyone with professionally diagnosed PTSD will have all these symptoms. Its a rough introductory guide.

Here are two links that contain lots of information on PTSD for you to further explore.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/#.Wn2Q3OjFLIU

https://www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

Personality Disorders

 

Next I’m going to give you some information about personality disorders. Personality disorder or borderline personality disorder is another widely used but not often widely understood term. If you’d like to know more I have attempted to explore it below.

  • The way you feel/think/act causes difficulty for you and/or others in daily activities.
  • The way you feel/think/act causes significant problems for you in many aspects of your life
  • These issues are long term and ongoing, not just short term and reactionary to events.
  • It does not mean your personality is not ‘good enough’ or any other negative connotation.
  • Extreme emotional changes or mood swings
  • Unstable relationships with friends, family and romantically.
  • Fear of abandonment by friends, family, work colleagues.
  • Unclear or unstable self-image, changing often, being unsure what is ‘you’.
  • Impulsive, self-destructive behaviours, knowing the action will have a bad result but being unable to stop yourself.
  • Irritability or anger
  • Self-harm, not just cutting, burning, but anything excessive that harms you e.g. drinking, drugs, smoking, exercise, eating (the list can get very long)
  • Strong feelings of emptiness, feeling you need to find something to fill the gap, often linking to some self harm issues like excessive eating or drugs.

Again not everyone diagnosed will experiencing all these things in these ways.

Here are links to a wonderful selection of information about personality disorders, it has lots of interesting sections for you to explore in detail. https://www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/conditions/personality-disorders and https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/personality-disorders/?gclid=CjwKCAiAqvXTBRBuEiwAE54dcE4-SGVT5B7q0vNfeD-q-0kILfrJh2gis9IWkH2_MbyKtuAmYpuGGRoCeCUQAvD_BwE#.Wn2M2ejFLIU

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

 

Bipolar

 

The third of my post about mental health awareness is about another commonly heard but not widely understood term Bipolar.

Those professionally diagnosed with this may often experience the following (I have tried to use simple terms but not simplify the experience):

  • Moments (hours or days) of intense emotion, either high and happy or low and sad
  • Some people may experience psychotic episodes as well
  • Experience emotions in a amplified way.
  • Irritable, distracted, angry, impatient, reckless (do risky activities out of their usual safe zone) or carefree (spend lots of money they don’t have on things they don’t want or wouldn’t usually buy), paranoid, some hallucinations or delusions, depression.

Again I’ve attached a link the MIND’s website. It is an excellent source of information and useful links.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/bipolar-disorder/?gclid=CjwKCAiAqvXTBRBuEiwAE54dcB2_JpJWEHmzGwaOypz0lYLD45iatvGdnsHcZ0jBRoZfrBHLzvMPNRoCjE0QAvD_BwE#.Wn2F2ujFLIU

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

Schizophrenia

 

I often get asked about certain common terms within mental health that are used widely but not understood widely. Over the next few posts I will explore their meanings in simple ways (not simplify the illness) in the hope that they can be more widely understood.

I  have already written about depression so I will next discuss schizophrenia. This can often be a frightening term, but in reality it doesn’t have to be. Some of the things experienced by people professionally diagnosed with schizophrenia are:

  • Hallucinations, seeing things others aren’t but not always aware only they are experiencing it.
  • Delusions – sometimes linked to hallucinations and paranoia
  • Paranoia
  • Hearing voices, they aren’t always bad voices.
  • Difficulty thinking logically, or at least a different logic than normally understood.
  • Agitated body movements.
  • Difficulty expressing emotional experiences in conversation or feeling disconnected to emotions..
  • Difficulty in attention/concentration
  • Difficulty in making decisions.
  • Some memory issues
  • Lack of enjoyment in everyday life.
  • Differing or odd beliefs, not shared by others

These are not all experienced by all those diagnosed, but are the general experiences. Hopefully this will help you understand what the term means and what those diagnosed are experiencing. I’ve attached a link to the MIND website where they offer excellent help and advice.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/schizophrenia/?gclid=CjwKCAiAqvXTBRBuEiwAE54dcE3IOzgjkvCSqOFXpTqAjM9z8jIHwUIdlgNt9Uf3qLLGdGhLgKObARoCQlAQAvD_BwE#.Wn1_uujFLIU

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area

Caring for the carers


We can often find ourselves in situations we weren’t expecting, one of these can be when a loved one is experiencing mental difficulties. These can range from brief moments of depression and anxiety to longer term illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia. I’ve attached a helpful website https://www.rethink.org/carers-family-friends with carers information but you can always access counselling for yourself, some space and time to discuss your feelings about the well-being of your loved one and how you are reacting. It is likely you will experience many emotions including sadness, anger, hurt, anxiety, fear, confusion, numbness. It is healthy to talk about these feelings, not to be ashamed of any of these, and by helping you feel mentally stronger you can be stronger for your relative.

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area

Noticing Depression

The NHS has a very helpful website to help you think about depression. Here they list the things you may experience of you are depressed –  https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/ and here they offer suggestions of what you might like to do to help someone you feel may be depressed – https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/signs-someone-is-depressed/

These feelings can include sadness, anxiety, fear, guilt, panic, worry, lack of any deep emotional feeling or connection, low esteem. These can become physical issues such as lack of energy, aches and pains, (even ear ache or tummy ache in children) altered sleeping patterns, and altered hunger levels.

If you feel that you have experienced depression, or someone you know is depressed counselling can be a really useful way of starting the healing process, it can give you a chance to explore the feelings and experiences you are having, to come to accept them and then start to figure out how you can move forward, to heal them or live around them until they subside.

GP’s can offer help and advice too, as well as anti-depressants. I am often asked which works best. My answer is that depends on the individual, sometimes anti-depressants work well, sometimes counselling is better, other times it is the right combination of both. We are all individual and need to find our own treatment plan.

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer counselling therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a really valuable tool in our busy and stressful lives. I myself find it an incredibly helpful tool to relax, focus and enjoy my life. It has many varied techniques that can work for many people. Wright Minds can help you with the basics.

here is an article exploring mindfulness. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/m/mindfulness

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.

Supervision

Supervision is a fundamental part of counselling, helping students learn, grow and develop skills safely, helping qualified counsellors remain connected, avoid isolation and work safely, but it can be a very valuable commodity in any workplace. It can offer managers the safe space to talk about things they can’t share with colleagues, it can offer professionals someone professional to share ideas with. It can keep us striving for our best. Here is an article about supervision to let you think on the idea.

https://www.scie.org.uk/publications/guides/guide50/introduction.asp

If you would like to discuss anything Wright Minds can offer therapy to those in and around the Stoke-on-Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme area.